Bucket List Item #140: Break the law
A Nice Little Disclaimer Before We Begin
“Ma’am, why did you rob this bank?”
“Well, officer, you see, it was on my bucket list!”
“Oh well in that case…”
That is not how this works. When I decided long ago to put “Break the law” on my bucket list, I made a clarification in my head: that it would not be something that would hurt others or myself, and it would not create significant damage to anything or anyone.
In basic terms, it would be something that most of us do all of the time, like jaywalking, but it would be intentional and, hopefully, slightly comical.
I wanted to write this disclaimer before I detail my little rebellious act so that no one gets the idea that they can write this on their list and then go commit credit card fraud, or steal a car or something. This item was meant to be a funny little story I could share, or a small act of deviance that doesn’t harm anyone.
So don’t get any crazy ideas!
Now let’s begin.
How I Became a Criminal
It all started on a family vacation to Florida. Florida, of course, where else?
It had been kinda chilly all week (in Florida terms anyway, we were still rocking the shorts), but then one day it warmed up slightly. We decided to do something fun outside to celebrate. Any guesses?
It’s puttin’ time! We hit up a cute Tiki-themed mini golf place in the heart of Destin. It would soon be the scene of a crime.
You may be picturing bottles of spray paint or a sharp glass cutter. Incorrect.
Big Kahuna’s Adventure Land supplied me the weapon of choice: a mini golf half-pencil, perfectly sharpened.
It was around hole 10 when I began to get the heinous idea in my brain. As we walked to the next hole, my family bickering about my brother’s previous swing, my heart pounded with anticipation.
Here we go.
My family stopped.
I explained to them what I was about to do, searching their faces for signs of shock or rage about my future deviant activity.
Instead, they laughed and asked for my phone to take a picture.
Gotta love family, am I right?
I trekked over to the wooden fence that prevented little kiddos from tripping into the 3-inch deep pond, grinning diabolically.
I took the little pencil, found an open space among the #YOLOs and shaky signatures, and then wrote the family name in a heart. It was done. I was now a cold, hard criminal who was prepared to do hard time. No one could take me down.
I became a deviant on March 15th, 2017, and my life has never been the same since. Big joke. I’m still hesitant to jaywalk at times because I’m such a people-pleaser, rule-follower type. But this day in Florida proves I can be a little crazy sometimes. So take that, law.
If you’re getting any wild thoughts after reading this, scroll back up to the disclaimer! Don’t go forging your parent’s signature on a note or anything. Now that would be wild.
Happy listing you crazies!
For a fun and funny list of crimes committed in Florida (that you should not try!), check out this list.